


paint my spirit gold and bow my head

by breadboi



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dimension Travel, Gen, Minor Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Minor Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Team as Family, magnus is good and deserves love, merle is the team dad, taako is a piece of shit and i love him too, tres horny boys - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-18 04:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13674582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadboi/pseuds/breadboi
Summary: Taako is having a okay day. He thinks it might even be a good one.Then he got blasted in the back by some magic spell and woke up in a universe where everyones human, no one uses magic, and he can't help but paint a very bad picture of what his suddenly-human friends think of as aliens.Kravitz, Lup and Barry try and figure out what the hell spell Taako was hit with, while Taako tries to awkwardly blend to the weird traditions of weird, human college students. And keep the fact that he's a elf a secret from half of them. He's shit at both things, so he mostly destroys his friends homes, starts riots, new world religions, convinces the professors to set their school on fire and try his best to chaotic-evil his way out of this world.





	1. are aliens real?

**Author's Note:**

> me, bouncing from interest to interest: try and catch me completing any of my old fics
> 
> SO! basically everyones human, 21st century kind of shit, then Taako pops out of the sky and ruins everyones plans and everything while he tries to be normal
> 
> I do have a VERY good plot idea for this, but please dont expect to many updates. but u can bet ur butt ill be writing this whenever i can

Everything went to shit way faster than Taako expected.

Here’s the backstory: The ol’ trio got back together for a simple mission that was supposed to just be literally returning some item that some other adventures found. It ended up with them being trapped, knocked out, dragged into some dark ass cave with blood on the walls as their kidnappers tried to perform some sacrifice. Necromancy? Probably. 

Taako called his boyfriend and got the boner squad there, like, instantly. He was not about to risk his new outfit getting stained with blood. Also, Merle was looking kinda woozy with all the blood smells, but like hell would he admit that to anyone.

One thing lead to another and they were all firing spells after spells as three grim reapers descended upon the necromancers like some plague of death. Just when things started settling and Taako turned to receive a high five by Magnus, he was hit in the back with some spell. 

Immediately his vision went black.

The last thing he saw before he passed out was Magnus’ panicked face and Kravitz rushing over.

Taako didn't really do sleeping, or passing out, or being unconscious in general. He preferred meditation, but the couple of times a month he would have to get some sleep he always did surrounded by his friends. He admitted once that he got night terrors when he was alone, so Magnus insisted on big “cuddle parties” at his house. Huge piles of sleeping figures wasn't very uncommon in his living room, even on nights he wasn’t home or going to sleep. 

So waking up alone, covered in a very old and dirty blanket, and in some unknown room, he was admittedly a bit freaked out.

Taako also didn't do freakin’ out. Night vision or not, he wanted to get a full picture of wherever the fuck his family brought him to, or his kidnappers. 

Wait, it couldn't be his friends. Right. The spell that hit him. 

Probably the necromancers. 

He cast a quick Cantrip and light up the room in a warm, white light. It gave the dark room color, but things still had absolutely no familiarity. 

Taako rolled a two on perception. He was in a room, and it looked like maybe a bedroom? He was so focused on trying to figure out where in the world he ended up that he didn't notice the noise from behind the door until it burst open.

He whipped around and both his ears flew up in surprise. Magnus stood there, holding what looked like a guitar over his head. Taako finally rolled a nat20 and noticed some fucking weird things.

In order: Magnus was missing the numerous scars that riddled his face. He was less buff and muscle man and more, just, extra beefy. He was also very freaked out, sweaty and scared. His hair was cut differently, with the iconic sideburns being tamed down a bit more. The weirdest thing was the fact that he starred, in fear, at the Cantrip that hovered over his right hand. 

Then his eyes flickered up and met Taakos and he realized that Magnus was fucking terrified of something.

This was maybe a case of time travel, or maybe just a really freaky Friday kind of thing. Did Magnus have a secret twin?

He raised his hand without Cantrip cast over it in a awkward wave. What would Magnus relax at? He had no idea what to say. They sat there for a awkward second. 

“Hail and well met, my dude.” Taako ended up saying. He felt immediately stupid.

Magnus stared for a second longer before he snorted and doubled over in laughter. Taako really didn't feel like he said something that witty or great, but he took praise when he got it and puffed up a bit. Then he noticed the laughing was a bit hysterical.

There was the sound of something falling on tile, a muffled curse and then Merle’s voice came yelling from down the hall, “What happened?”

“Yo, sauce. You good?” Taako asked, dispelling the little spell. Magnus made a wheezing noise and dropped his guitar-weapon.

“Okay, what, no, are you having a asthma attack? What the hell do I do?” He pushed the blankets off his legs and jumped out of the couch in his friends direction. He awkwardly patted him on the back, butterfly touches gentle type.

His ears swiveled around and he whipped around to see Merle, grey bread in all its glory, standing with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

Something felt… off. He stared at Merle for five seconds (rolled a critical failure immediately) before hissing at him, “He’s not breathing right! Is this asthma? Like, what the shit my dudes!”

Merle jerked into action, stepping away to set his toothbrush down before jogging back.

“Magnus, hey- man, you okay?” He rubbed his back a lot firmer then Taako was.

What a shitty cleric, he thought, watching Magnus learn to restart his breathing. But he bit his tongue. Something felt really, really off, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. So he stepped back and let Merle do his thing.

There was a hole in the roof. The room he must've been asleep in connected directly to a living room, which had a huge fucking hole just chillin' in the ceiling. It was night.

Merle gently coaxed Magnus to a ratty, beat up couch that he sat on. He murmured some words to him and Magnus eventually started to reply, but Taako was already five steps ahead of them and couldn't catch their conversation.

By the time Magnus had pulled himself together enough to talk, Taako had reappeared with a glass of water in hand. He awkwardly offered it to him, keeping his face carefully schooled in a neutral expression, but he felt his ears tilt in worry.

Magnus stared at his blue hands. 

“Uh… do you want this or should I just dump it out and waste it?”

No one replied. Taako’s ears twitched in annoyance.

He shook his hand a little, offering it more forcefully. 

“There's thirsty kids all over the globe that would kill for this water, my dude, and your just gonna turn it down? Heartless, I’ll say.” He started to slowly pull his hand away, which seemed to wake him up.

Clumsy and awkward, he grabbed the cup in a quick movement. Their hands brushed, which wasn't a big deal, but Magnus jumped out of his skin and retracted his hand plus water really fast.

Taako raised a eyebrow.

“Uh-”, said Magnus, and yup- that was definitely a Magnus voice. “Sorry- about like- all that. That was rude.”

Taako snorted and let out a quick, “Fucking duh- that was rude.” 

Merle shot him a real weird and nasty look. He shot one right back, making sure to pull one eyelid down and stick out his tongue. 

Then he composed himself, plopped on the loveseat that faced the coach and made himself comfortable, draped across it in the most obnoxious manner. 

“So, homeslices. What's the story? How did I end up here?”

They stared at him again, like they were fuckin’ dissecting him with their eyes. He squirmed a little and flicked his ears back.

“You crashed threw our ceiling,” said Magnus after a few moments. He stared at the water and took a hesitant sip.

“I context clued that one out already, so thank you. Like- do you guys know specifically why I crashed through your ceiling?” Taako snarked. Glancing down, he noticed that his clothes had got absolutely no blood or stains on them and gave a little grin. Plus he had his Umbra Staff in one of his pocket dimensions, easy to reach, so his style and panache was not any lower than usual. Hell yeah.

“We were hoping you could answer that,” mumbled Merle, looking so fucking off for some bizarre reason that Taako furrowed his eyebrows. 

Was he younger too or something? Was Magnus even younger?

Then he noticed the height difference.

Merle was four-foot nothing’ and was a heavy-set dude. He could definitely wield a warhammer, but wasn't, like, a imposing figure. Magnus was a fucking muscle giant compared to his twig body and Merle’s short stature. 

Merle here was probably like, 5”5. Painfully human looking.

“Oh shit,” he mumbled under his breath for a brief second. Then he collected himself and took his face back to neutral.

Internally he was screaming.

“Well, first things first. Do you guys recognize me in-like, any way?” Taako said, reaching up with his hand to scratch his cheek in a old nervous habit.

Merle looked a bit weirded out for some reason, then he realized that he very rudely dodged their sorta question. 

“No.” said Magnus softly.

“What’s your name?” Merle added on, his eyebrows furrowing together. Magnus looked panicked for a second and shot Merle another weird look.

“I-” This was so wrong in so many ways. He was basically introducing himself to his best friends. What the shit. What was happening. “I’m Taako.”

They both gaped and he couldn't help but grin a little. Maybe he was still a TV star here. Then, abruptly, they started laughing, loudly. Magnus set his water down on the table and wheezed something unintelligible out to Merle, who only shrieked with laughter in response. It was a bit wild and hysterical again.

“You- your fucking names taco?” Merle choked out.

Taako frowned. “What's wrong with my name?”

“I mean- it’s literally just taco? Like, that’s not a nickname or something?” Magnus blurted.

“Yeah, homie, names Taako. I literally am not following you on how its so funny.” 

“No no! It’s a great name! I’m Burrito and this is my best friend, Quesadilla, and we fight crime together.” Merle laughed. Taako blinked at it in confusion and frowned.

“I sense a shit ton of sarcasm and a sprinkle of hostility.” Taako sassily deadpanned, sitting up in the couch. 

Suddenly the sorta playful atmosphere disappeared as he moved. Magnus quieted his rambunctious laughter and tensed up, and Merle looked like he just swallowed a lemon. They both stared at him.

“Okay, yeah, that's not our names. Uh- Taako? My name’s Magnus and this is my roommate, Merle.” He said, gesturing to his elder friend. 

“Okay, cool. Nice to meet you, I guess.” He stuck his hand out in a handshake towards either Merle or Magnus. Magnus didn't move a inch. Merle was staring at his hands as he gestured, almost hypnotized. 

Taako awkwardly settled them back in his lap after a few more moments as no one moved to shake it.

“Do y’all not do handshakes or something here?” He said. Merle had the audacity to sheepishly look away and Magnus scratched his neck. Taako felt oddly offended, but brushed it off. Whatever. This place was weird shit anyways, no wonder they acted like he was some monster that waltzed into their house.

Another awkward silence fell over the group.

“So, why specifically are you here, alien-dude?” Magnus suddenly said. Taako barely had a second to process it before he bulldozed forward. “Because like, not sure if you noticed? But your blue.” He paused to let another feverish chuckle. “And have like, hella long ears? And you're definitely not on your home planet, dude.” 

“Woah, hold up homie.” He raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Last thing I remember is some necromancers blasting my ass seven ways to Sunday.” Taako paused. “And the fuck you mean, alien? That's just racist shit, man.”

Merle took a deep breath, his breathing sort of shaky. “You’re on planet Earth,” he said slowly, like he was talking to a preschooler. Taako felt his ears twitch in irritation. “Populated by humans.”

Taako paused. Stared at the two of them. Then he rolled a 19 on perception and really looked around. He was in a dingy apartment, with two weirdly human friends who had no memory of him, or any other race than human. They both looked very stressed and the hole in the roof was still there.

He had transported to some human-only dimensional reality where his ass didn't exist. Fun. Just how he wanted to spend his weekend. Locking away any panic he was feeling for when he was alone later during the week, he slapped both hands on his knees and pushed himself up.

They stared at him like he was a fantasy tiger in a fantasy cage. He felt a prick of hot irritation stab at him.

“Let's fix this fucking roof, already.” Taako said after another minute of hesitation, and turned towards it.

He tried his best not to stare at his very non-magical and very human friends, and fucking prayed that the Boner Squad was on their way to pick him up. This was the fucking nightmare alternative universe. Everyone was lame and boring-er then they usually are. 

(And a tiny part of him was very, very afraid of their rejection or fear of him. He was afraid the reactions here would show their true feelings about him. Was he really so mean and shitty that they wouldn’t even trust him at all? Puzzle pieces of their reactions floated together and he sincerely hoped that he could paint himself as humane, though not human. He rolled a critical miss on introspection, and locked these emotions away too.)


	2. puppy bowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meets a alien with blue skin and immediately remembers a Bear Grylls show that mentions what toxic animals looks like. The boys meet a somewhat awkward understanding and fix that damn roof. Taako is already exasperated and wants to take a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this feels super forced so i sat on it for a few days, but i really cant feel better about it. i feel like the previous chapter really doesnt do justice for what I have planned for this story, so i might combine the two chapters in one. ill try and update before next saturday!
> 
> also, thank you to everyone who kudoed and commented! taz is very subjective, especially post cannon stuff, so feel free to comment if something doesnt line up and ill either fix it or explain my reasoning!

Magnus was watching a rerun of the Puppy Bowl when an alien came crashing through his roof.

It all started when the walls started to quiver and shake. At first he thought some kids with cool ass stereos in their cars were riding by, but then dust started to pour out from the roof. A ball of fire plummeted from the sky above and crashed directly through the roof. Magnus leapt up from his comfortable spot on the couch and managed to jump back, just barely escaping being hit by stray bits of his roof.

It smashed into the coffee table, and the fire went out abruptly.

When the debris cleared and he saw, laying in an unconscious heap, a blue figure with ears covered in eccentric piercings sticking out the back of his head, he assumed what most people would. One _whole_ alien had crashed into his house, destroyed his roof and was wearing a really dope outfit.

He admittedly screamed a little loudly.

Thankfully the only other person awake in the apartment building at the unholy hour that Puppy Bowl reruns played was Merle. This meant he was both the only person bothered by the shaking walls, collateral damage, and shrieking.

Magnus heard the pounding footsteps before Merle came into view. Merle looked like he was seconds away from falling asleep, already in his pajamas, and opened his mouth to say something nasty to Magnus before the more pressing matter of a blue person laying in a heap garnered a reaction.

Merle also screamed in surprise, but calmed down considerably faster than the still scared Magnus, who rapidly stepped away from the figure. 

“Magnus,” Merle said slowly, walking forward like he was afraid of getting bite, “Did you summon a demon?”

“No!” Magnus said too quickly, then realised how bad this situation seemed and insisted, “No! No, I didn't! He just- he just crashed threw the roof?”

Merle frowned deeply. “Mango, you and I both know no demon would come to our place without someone doing something. I have made some questionable choices in my life, but whatever you just did that was so evil that it brought a demon to our door-” Magnus shook his head furiously. “-I will help you cover up and will not judge you.”

“I didn't summon a demon!”

“Well, I didn't either!”

They stared at each other for a moment, then switched their gaze back to the smoking figure. He wore some sort of cropped cloak, with a button down shit that was tucked into some high waisted pants. He was wearing such a modern outfit that the body in it looked painfully out of place. Magnus would assume it was some weird LARPing kid if he hadn't just shot through the roof.

He also had killer heels. It was so sharp of a point Magnus wondered if it could actually be a weapon.

“Do you- maybe those edgy teens next door did it?” Merle asked cautiously.

“Why would he come crashing through our roof if that was the case?”

“Well, y’know how sometimes the Amazon guy leaves some packages on our step that isn't ours?”

Magnus blinked. “We’ve never had to return a package to someone else before.”

Merle tensed up, flickering his gaze away and said, “Hypothetical, Magnus. Still, valid idea, keep considering it!”

Magnus paused,“I don't think this is a demon, honestly.”

“Well, what do you think it is then?”

Magnus shrugged in response, thinking. Merle glanced up, appraising the hole in the roof, then walked over to the body and squatted next to it. Magnus hesitated a bit and lingered back, but followed eventually.

The alien had long, curly hair and a pale, pastel blue-green skin, but from the face-down position he were in it was hard to determine what he looked like. He wondered briefly if it was some sort of sea or nature spirit. 

“Alien? Maybe? I mean, he did just sorta fall from outer space.”

“Yeah, he’s a alien, and I’m a dwarf from a alternate dimension! And we’re best friends!” Merle scoffed.

“And you think that demons are more likely? Seriously, we have a blue dude who came from the sky, I say he’s an alien.” Magnus insisted again. Merle frowned up at him, but before he could retort the body twitched.

They both jumped back as it very, painfully slowly, began to move.

He watched in horror as the alien groaned a long, painful sounding groan and rolled over, flopping its arm to the floor. Suddenly face-up, he realized the being looked really humanoid, despite the obvious non-human features.

“I say we kill it.” Merle immediately piped up. Magnus gaped at him in horror.

“No! Why the hell would we kill him?”

“I mean, what if it’s here to take over the human race and brainwash us all?”

“I sincerely doubt he’s here to do that!” Magnus paused, “I mean, I hope he isn't." 

Merle frowned at him, raising a eyebrow.

Magnus sighed and gathered all the courage in himself to scoot a bit closer to the alien figure. He really looked deep into its face, cautious not to touch the admittedly toxic looking skin. It definitely looked poisonous.

He vaguely remembered some nature show talking about how to tell if an animal was poisonous based of the colors, but in the moment he doubted it would work on an alien.

The alien had killer, possibly dyed eyebrows, while his eyelashes were coated in a thick coat of mascara. His eyes had thin, sharp wings on them and a hint of purple glittery eyeshadow. The rest of his face seemed relatively make-up free, and with a closer inspection the glittery splatter of stars across his cheeks and nose seemed to act more as freckles than anything else.

It didn't look like someone who would put on fake elf-ears and paint their skin blue. Honestly, he looked like he could be some kind of model.

Then the alien took a deeper breath then normal and Magnus realised that if it was, in fact, a alien, then he probably wouldn't be able to breath their air.

Or maybe all life in the universe needed good ol’ oxygen?

“Maybe we should try and wake it up? Shake ‘em, dude.” Merle said, interrupting Magnus’ thoughts.

“Uh- dunno about you, but that likes like toxic as hell skin. I am not about to take any chances.”

Merle rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then sighed and stood up with a grunt. Magnus heard some bones snap and crack in protest, but Merle barely seemed to notice as he waddled out of the room.

He returned after a few seconds with a thin blanket, which he threw over the sleeping form. Then he gestured at it to Magnus, in a ‘there ya go’ sort of way. Magnus blew the strand of hair out of the way. Resigned to his possibly getting poisoned fate, he poked the lump under the blanket.

It shifted a bit.

He very gently patted it where he assumed his shoulders were. This time, it didn't shift at all. He gently shoved at the body, then made some gentle punching motions near his chest. Nothing seemed to rouse him.

“Maybe we should let him just… sleep?” Magnus said after a bit. 

Merle frowned. “Quitter.”

“I’m not a quitter; it's just like- this doesn't seem to be working.” Magnus retorted. They both stared at the broken coffee table under his body and watched him take another deep, shuddering breath.

“Alright, fine.” Merle exhaled loudly and promptly slipped his arms under the body, hoisting him up, bridal style.

Magnus jumped a little at the unexpected action. The blanket slipped off most of his face and torso, but Merle’s arms were kept safe from skin-to-skin contact.

Then the alien’s head wobbled a little as Merle adjusted him to a little more comfortable position and his face fell on his shoulder. Merle jumped in surprise, but seemed unaffected in any way. Magnus stood up and awkwardly followed his shorter friend as he made his way to Magnus’ room.

It never actually was supposed to be a just Magnus’, hence the bunk beds and pull-out coach, but their old roommate Pringles got in some intense trouble with the law and was carted off to some high security prison. Magnus was the technical owner of the apartment, but he never had enough time to post an add or interview people who wanted a bed. Plus, Merle paid enough to cover the expenses, so it wasn't necessary to get a third roommate.

He waddled over to the bunk bed, but seeing Magnus’ stuff strewn out all across it he flipped around and dumped the alien unceremoniously on the coach. They stared at it for a heartbeat, then trickled out into the living room to do some damage control.

* * *

Taako tried not to let the gasps of surprise as he levitated the chunks of plaster and brick up with a quick wave of his hand get to him. He assumed that they didn't know about magic, hence Magnus’ over the top reaction at a little cantrip, but it still felt so inherently wrong.

“So,” said Merle once he was had finished transmuting the last bit into place. It looked a bit shaky, but functioned as a solid patch in the roof, nevertheless. “Alien, huh.”

“What? No, for fucks sake,” He turned around and dramatically flipped his hair back. “Just a different dimension is what I’m thinkin', my dude. Where I’m from humans and elves and tieflings and Pan knows what else live on the same planet.”

“Oh,” Magnus said, looking thoughtful. “So is that why you don't need to wear a spacesuit?”

Taako dragged his hand across his face.

“I’m not a spaceman, Magnus.” He said. Then he remembered IPRE and how he was technically a space traveler. “Not right now, at least.” He corrected himself, then realized that he could have traveled from space. He was definitely in some alternate dimension, and in one of their planes. So there was a high chance that his travel had something to do with planer systems. He frowned again, then decided to play the idiot-wizard card and didn't correct himself again.

“Wait, wouldn't being from a different dimension make you a alien?” Magnus asked.

“I mean, I guess.” Taako replied flippantly. “But it's more or less weird that your dimension doesn’t have elves on it.”

“Woah, hold on. You’re an elf?” Magnus gasped.“So if humans and elves live in harmony, does that mean your skins not poisonous?”

That gained a very long sigh. “Please,” Taako said, throwing his head up. “Pan smite me now. I cannot handle idiot humans any longer. Take me now.”

Merle snorted, then glanced at the clock that hung on the wall. It had a bit of wood from the coffee table lodged in it, but the wood was far from either the minute hand or hour hand. “Its… three AM. Hey, alien, do you have a place to crash by any chance?”

“Taako,” He corrected automatically, then hummed thoughtfully. “Guess not.”

Magnus was rapidly getting over his fear of being poisoned and smiled brightly at him. Taako practically got whiplash from how fast their attitudes towards him were changing. “Want to spend the night here?” Magnus asked, gesturing towards the patched-up couch. Taako winced at the gross stains, but had slept in worse places.

Then Magnus blinked and corrected himself. “Nono, you can have the bottom bunk in my room! Or if you're uncomfortable about that, you can have the pull-out couch. You could sleep on this couch, though! It's a little gross but hey- to each their own.”

“Uh- thanks.” He said, glancing at Merle to see if the older human was on board with the idea. He noticed the look and sort of shrugged. “I'll take you up on that offer, then. Don’t know how long I’ll have to stay here, but it shouldn't be like- forever or somethin’.”


	3. taako burns down a kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bois have to go to class, so taako sets a kitchen on fire trying to learn what the fuck a propane stove is. killian thinks she met a cosplayer, then magnus tells her the truth and she immediately tells her non-lizard gf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmm... barely beta'd this one. plot should be starting in the next chapter or so, and all characters will be introduced soon!! its gunna just be some cute filler chapters for a little bit though!

Taako skated by for literally one day before he was caught. He spent the early morning the day after he had destroyed their roof attempting to learn how to use a stove and microwave to cook breakfast, but by the time the other two were awake he had long since given up.

Magnus noticed the pans laying on the stove, absolutely untouched except for one raw egg that was laying in the smallest pan. Since he had gotten over his Taako-poison fear, he had immensely warmed up to Taako and spent that morning before his class teaching him how to turn it on.

“And the fire just- fucking comes out? Like, whats powering it? Is it a enchanted stove?” Taako asked, crouched to watch the bottom of the pan heat up with the fire.

Merle snorted into his cereal. Magnus whisked the egg with a fork and shook the pan a little, letting it give a satisfying crackle. “I think it's propane.” He replied.

“What fucking school of magic  _ is _ that?” 

Regretfully, they had to abandon their new alien friend. Merle mentioned something about having to open up shop, then get to his noon class and Magnus had a 9 am class. 

“I own a little coffee shop downstairs and over a building.” Merle said, pulling on a coat. Apparently it was winter in this dimension. Taako was still wearing his old clothes, which were definitely built for summer, so he cast a little heat cantrip on himself. “Just- don't come down there. Or out of here. We’ll come back as soon as we can.” He paused and gave Taako a quick once over.“Don’t open the door for anyone but us, can’t have you scarin’ a mailman or something.” 

“Shit, bye then.” He replied, still distracted by the propane stove. Very hesitant, careful not to burn his egg, he turned up the gas. The flame immediately grew larger, to which he grinned in maniacal excitement.

“Please don't burn down the house,” Magnus said, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “I get that you’ve never seen a real stove before, but try and keep the fire down?”

“Where's the fun in that? I’m going to set my hair on fire, fuck you. It’ll be so dope looking, trust me.”

The two left very hesitantly, and Magnus promised to be back as soon as his class let out. 

Something the two didn't expect was their friends going over first.

Taako spent the morning half-way distracted by all the weird cooking inventions that made him think that he was probably in this dimensions plane of logic, and the other half trying to contact his home. His stones of farspeach did not connect to any lines, and any spells he could think of had no way of getting him in contact with his friends. 

When there was a abrupt knock at the door, Taako got up and didn't hesitate to open it. He thought maybe Merle had left his store to check on him or Magnus was back from his early class. Even though Taako knew he was supposed to be keeping a low profile, the whole ‘no elves in this world’ thing was painfully fresh in every question his friends had directed at him, he didn't bother to hide his appearance at all.

He swung the door open to a buff, rough and tough women with a bit of an underbite, but despite the similarities in appearances Killian was completely human. She had a black backpack hoisted in her arms, fishing around the front pocket for what looked like keys.

They made a awkward eye contact. She stopped rooting around and froze. Taako, gently as he could, slammed the door shut and locked it in her face.

There was a beat of silence before there was another knock at the door. “Magnus?” She called awkwardly.

“Shit,” Taako cursed under his breath. “Uh- Magnus isn't here at the moment! Wait until his class ends to come in!” He called out the door, hoping that maybe she wouldn't question his looks.

She knocked again, and he tried to inch away from the door. “Can I come in and wait, at least?” Killian sounded very calm, but Taako was not about to be seen looking like he did.

Actually, wait, fuck that. She had already seen his face, and they didn't have a competent women helping quite yet, so she could probably help him get home way faster. She knocked again and he threw open the door, not really thinking the reckless action through and got knocked in the face.

It wasn't a powerful punch, considering she was just knocking at a door, but she was buff and a whole foot taller than he was and he went down immediately. Halfway to the floor, Taako rolled a dexterity saving throw and got a critical miss.

He grabbed her legs in a hope to steady himself, hit her in the back of the knees and set her toppling to the floor too.

Distantly, in the kitchen, his eggs caught on fire.

“Tits.” Came a gruff voice and Magnus suddenly loomed over the mess of limbs. The fire alarm started to go off. 

“Tits!” Taako parroted, louder. He jumped up and ran over to turn the stove off in a quick move. He grabbed the pan and rushed towards the sink, dispelling the fire with a puff of steam.

Killian stayed on the floor. “Why is there a weird cosplaying kid in your house?” She asked Magnus, who offered her a hand up.

She took it and together they watched Taako as he scrambled around the kitchen, trying to find the fire alarm and stop it. “He’s a alien who broke into my house last night.” He replied honestly.

The fire alarm cut off as Taako hit it with the pan. “For some bizarre reason I don’t doubt that.”

Taako, crisis averted, felt himself tense up under the judging eyes. Then he noticed his ears lowering and puffed himself up, immediately putting up a bravo to hopefully dazzle her.

He grinned, turned around with a flourish and gestured with the dented pan in her direction. “Hail n’ well met n’ all that jazz. I’m Taako, y’know, from TV?” She stared at his ears, which twitched back when he heard a part of the fire alarm fall of the wall. “What's your name, homie?”

Taako frowned and cocked his head at her, being met with silence. “I have come in peace, human.” He said robotically, jamming his arms out straight in front of him and moving them up and down. Magnus let out a quick snort which Taako grinned at, but Killian sat dormant. 

“You’re really bad at cooking,” Magnus mentioned with a chuckle. Immediately the elf turned around and rounded on him, pointing his pan at Magnus threateningly. Despite the fact that Magnus was face to face with a very unreal situation, Taako already felt like a close friend. The previous fears he held were gone, and so he laughed playfully. 

“You take that back.” Taako spat out, narrowing his eyes. Magnus grinned widely and motioned at himself in a ‘come at me’ way.

Right before Taako could swing with his pan, Killian jumped between the two and said, “Okay, this is really bad way to be the end of the human race! Magnus, please, this is a _actual fucking alien_.” 

“What? Taako isn't actually about to hurt me.” Magnus said with a frown. His arms dropped to his side. “We’re just joking, Killian, don’t worry.”

“Like hell I wasn't about to hurt you.” Taako mumbled, crossing his arms.

Her eyes shot between the two of them. “I want a bit of a more thorough explanation, _please_.” Magnus helplessly looked towards Taako in hopes that he would explain himself, but he had turned himself towards the window and was watching the cars beneath them. There were a few moments of silence.

Then her phone rang, tearing through the tension like a knife.

Taako wasn’t too surprised as the ringtone for her stone of farspeach came out of her pocket, but was a little more interested when she took out a phone. He tried to figure out what the hell she was holding, but she checked the screen really quick and blinked in surprise.

She gave a very awkward smile and mumbled something towards them, then stepped into Magnus’ room to answer the call.

Magnus watched the door shut. “Do ya think she’s going to tell anyone we’re illegally housing a alien?”

“I don’t think cha’boy is illegal, my dude.” Taako replied, placing the burnt pan in the sink for someone else to deal with. “I don’t think so, at least?”

“I mean, I would assume the government wants to know about aliens?”

“Not a alien, different dimension.” He replied with a wave of his hand.

“Right… right. I mean, I hope it's not illegal.” Taako hummed in reply and wandered back into the living room. In a smooth movement, he draped himself across the ratty couch dramatically. Magnus frowned at the closed door to his bedroom and flopped down beside him. “Hey, can I ask some cool alien questions?” 

Taako flipped his hand. “Elf, my dude.”

“Right… Taako, can I ask some cool elf questions?” Magnus felt a bit silly calling the person in front of him a elf. Taako’s ears flicked up in an unconscious response to his name. 

“Shoot.”

Magnus hummed, leaning down to unlace his shoes. “Why’s your skin blue?” He asked after pulling off one shoe.

Taako snorted. “Blue blood.” He replied, examining his nails in front of his face. 

“Oh,” Magnus frowned and pulled off his other boot. Wasn’t blood red because of the oxygen they breathed? “Okay, why was there a little glowing ball when you first woke up?”

“Oh, it was just a lil cantrip to let me see better,” Taako flicked the hand he was examining out, summoning a perfectly round ball of blue light. Magnus’ jaw dropped and he leaned forward, amazed. “I got night vision, but being able to see color is helpful sometimes too.”

Magnus reached forward and stuck his finger into the orb of light. It didn't feel any different from the air around it, but when he pulled it out the light acted like water and danced around the ripple he made. The dew drops of light promptly spun around, then was pulled back into the main orb. 

Amazed, he slapped the cantrip as hard as he could, ending up giving Taako a big high five. The light burst into hundreds of little droplets which immediately began to spin wildly around the largest middle one. A few seconds later it was more or less reformed, a bit misshapen, but it gradually spun the other drops that were scattered into itself.

“Gravity,” He whispered to himself, eyes wide.

“If you keep looking at that your gonna go blind, homie.” Taako said, flicking his wrist and dispelling the little magic. “Can you guys not even do that little bit of magic?”

Magnus shook his head wordlessly, still completely amazed.

“What is this, twenty questions?” Killian asked, directly behind the couch Taako was laying in. He practically jumped out of his skin, ears flicking high up in a very rabbit-like position before he immediately schooled his body language into a more composed one.

“Are you like a Harry Potter wizard?” Magnus blurted out. Killian slapped her hand to her face and groaned loudly.

“No clue what the fuck a Harry Potter is, but sure dude. If he’s a cool ass magician, I definitely am like him,” Taako replied easily. Then he turned to Killian. “So, you tell the world that magic is real?”

She nervously rubbed her neck and glanced away. Magnus gasped. Before anyone could say anything, she raised her hands in a surrender position and quickly said, “Just Carey!”

Magnus immediately slumped in relief. Playing the part of a clueless alien, Taako asked, “Who’s Car-ay?”

“Carey,” She corrected. “She's my girlfriend, and she called to see when I was coming back because I was only supposed to pop in here to grab my keys,” Killian gestured to the kitchen counter. “I forgot them the other day.”

“How’d she take it?” Magnus asked.

Killian laughed awkwardly. “She didn’t believe me, and honestly I barely believe it myself. I think I would’ve still thought you were just a weird cosplayer if it wasn't for that little magic trick.”

Taako shrugged. “Perks of being a wizard, I guess. Are you sure that like, nobody do magic in this dimension?” They both shook their heads. “Are you guys completely sure?”

Magnus paused while Killian shook her head again. “Well,” He mumbled, “Maybe there's like a secret magic user society.”

Killian stared at Taako, who shifted a little uncomfortably. “Illuminati confirmed.” She whispered. Then she blinked and remembered to tell Magnus, “Carey’s on the way over, by the way. She's convinced that I tripped out on some drugs or something and sounded really worried about me. I honestly am not too sure that that's not what’s happening, but I guess we’ll see when she gets here.” 

Magnus laughed. “I think we all feel like we’re tripping out, honestly.”

Taako wiggled his fingers at them. “I am a figment of your imagination…” He made some ‘oooo’ and ‘aaaa’ ghost sounds, just to complete the ensemble.

“I never expected aliens to be dumbasses.” Killian said to herself. Magnus caught himself nodding in agreement, but Taako immediately puffed up in anger like a bird.

“Who the fuck you callin' a dumbass, I’ll have you know Mrs. Tripping-balls, that I am a competent wizard, and I might be a idiot wizard, but I can do cool shit! So what does it matter, if I’m not the smartest. You’re not the smartest! You guys are bullies, that's what you are-”

Carey walked in, human in all her glory, and promptly said, “What the fuck?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw merle's shop is a little cafe called Leaf Lovers, meant to be about like, the nice tea they sell. its... its not.
> 
> and you bet ill fit a coffee shop au into my own other au. i will make this au-ception. 
> 
> also when killian first saw taako she immediately thought that magnus or merle had some weird fuckin friends that just walked around covered in blue paint. she was very worried


	4. taako gets new clothes finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> carey and killian are so confused. angus is a sweetheart who must be protected. taako is tired of wearing dog themed clothing items.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooo boy. sorry this is like two weeks late. my beautiful update plan is being absolutely wrecked by finals. yall know how it be, its ap final season and i am near dead
> 
> ill try and write more, but tbh i expect maybe two or three more updates till summer rolls around. then i can pump it out as fast as i feel like.

“Okay,” Said a short human girl, who looked nothing like Carey, but apparently was her. Off to the side, Killian gesture wildly in a ‘I’m not crazy!’ sort of way towards Taako, which the elf took a little offense to. But, granted, if a alien showed up at  _ his _ friends house, he would be a little freaked out.

Taako paused because, now that he thought about it, it would actually be rad as hell. If he genuinely met a alien, Taako thought that maybe he could be buds with them and become some cool ass alien duo.

“Let me get this straight,” Carey continued, head in her hands. “You,” She pointed at Magnus and Merle, who awkwardly shifted on the coach. “Let an alien crash in your house.”

“It's not like he had anywhere else to go,” Magnus protested weakly, wringing his hands. Taako frowned. He wasn’t some stray puppy.

“And you,” She said, turning around and pointing at Taako, who definitely appreciated the amount of melodramatics she was using. “Just came crashing down from the sky, with no idea why you were up there, onto a strange planet.”

“Well, I mean, I have theories.” He said honestly. 

She stared flatly at him. Merle blinked from his spot on the ratty couch and said, “Wait, like on how to get you back home?” 

“This is literally the plot to ET.” Killian mumbled, dazed. 

Taako chuckled guiltily. “Well, not on that yet. I’ve been trying to call my husband or sister or something and see if they can open a rift into this dimension, but my Sone of Farspeach won’t work. But I do have theories on how I got here!”

“Stone of Farspeach?” Carey asked, raising a dark eyebrow. Taako shifted uncomfortably, it felt so surreal to see a complete stranger with a familiar friend’s voice.

“Wait, you have a sister? And husband?” Magnus asked, perking up.

“I guess our social structures aren’t super different, then.” Carey added. Taako ignored that. “Wait, rift?”

Taako fished his Stone of Farspeach out from his pocket, showing them the green glowing rune imprinted on the top of it. It faintly pulsed in the disconnected signal. “I haven’t got a lick of reception since I got here. It’s like your arcana field just fucked outta this dimension.” 

The group stared at the smooth pebble in his hand for a moment before he slipped it back into his pocket. 

“And yeah, Kravitz, he’s-” Taako hesitated, wondering if he should reveal the fact he was dating the grim reaper. Was stuff like that known in this dimension? Taako decided to play it safe. He bit his tongue before saying, “-usually pretty good about picking me up. ‘N Lulu hasn’t spent more than like, a week away from me since she got back”

Magnus perked up and opened his mouth to say something, but was bulldozed by Merle.

“What about the theories for how you got here?” He asked, leaning forward somewhat. 

“Ah, well, about that-” Taako nervously scratched the back of his ears. “I was sorta fighting some necromancers and they blasted me with some weird half-baked spell. I think it was supposed to be some form of Banishment, but the dude probably messed up the wording and bam, I ended up in the wrong dimension, not the wrong plane of existence.”

Killian rubbed her eyes. “This is rapidly going from sci-fi to fantasy.” She said to herself. Magnus snorted.

“My whole life is more or less a weird combo of both.” Taako shrugged. 

“So, necromancers, huh-” Magnus said, but was cut off as Merle’s phone rang. Taako starred as he pulled out the glowing rectangle and answered it with a quick swipe of his finger.

“Hello?” He asked. Off to the side, Carey and Killian lowered some conversation they had gotten into without the rest of them.

Taako gently reached forward to tap his well manicured nails on the camo case. Merle pushed his hand away and cupped his own hand on the receiver. “It’s Ango,” He told Magnus. “He’s at the door, ready for his tutoring lessons?”

“Shit, I forgot.” Magnus said, waving at Carey and Killian to get their attention. He turned to Taako and grabbed his hands. “We gotta hide you.” 

“Uh, hol’ up, what?” Taako said intelligently. He tried to come up with a plan on the fly, but quickly rolled a critical failure on intelligence and was grabbed by Magnus to get manhandled into the closet in the kitchen.

“Sorry, just wait here until I come get you.” Magnus said before slamming the door shut. 

Taako blinked as his eyes adjusted quickly to the dark, noting that the closet simply had a broom, loose board games and some winter-grade shoes. He was squished in between a group of plushy, winter coats, crafted with some material that he had never seen before. Running it between his fingers, it made a gentle ‘zing’ noise. 

“Come on in! We were just all hanging out, watching the TV. Y’know, adult things.”

There was a lull in between the conversation and immediately Taako was struck with the wish that he had gone to the bathroom before this all happened. 

“The TV’s off.” Commented Angus, voice just as gentle and high as it was in Taako’s home dimension. He was hit with a pang of homesickness that he swiftly crushed down.

Gently shifting the board games to the side, Taako sat down on the dusty wood floor and settled in for a bit.

After a few minutes of chit chat, Carey and Killian left. Killian told Magnus, “He’s gonna kill you after that.” Magnus agreed immediately, sounding resigned to his fate, much to the confusion of Angus.

Taako lasted about ten more minutes, listening to the conversation and doodling stick figures in the dust. 

“This was the Industrial Revolution, so sanitary actually sucked!” Magnus said, voice muffled from the door.

“Oh! Thank you, sir, that's why the population started to go down near the end, right?” Angus sounded excited and the noise of pen scribbling on paper started.

“No, it actually went down because of the Great Depression. Pep’s stopped having more than one kid.”

“Oh,” Angus replied, sounding dejected. The sound of one, long scratch of the pen made it to Taako’s ear’s. “Okay, got it.”

Taako opened up his pocket dimension and fished out the Umbra Staff. It had been repaired expertly by Magnus himself, then the magic within it was fixed and lich proofed by Leon. In the break line, it held a beautiful line of white oak.

Taako smiled at it, feeling it fit snugly in his hand. ‘Bout time that he got his hands on something that would give him a little more firepower.

Closing the dimension, he felt immensely more cramped in the closet. He awkwardly shifted and folded his limbs to hold the staff upwards, then cast Disguise Self.

It wasn’t a very hard spell, but with the few amount of changes it felt like a breeze. Shifting races was a common part of the spell, doing nothing else to his bone structure or body let him cast it in a split second. 

Touching his ears to double check on the human-ness, Taako finally folded the Umbra Staff in between his armpit and opened the door.

He overestimated the amount of force to use to open the door, rolling a two on stealth. 

He ungracefully tumbled out and onto the floor. Working on the bar in the kitchen, he was immediately seen. Magnus threw his hands up and opened his mouth, then froze and furrowed his brows in confusion.

Merle, sitting on the coach, turned and simply stared.

“Who’s this, sirs?” Angus asked curiously. 

Taako pulled himself up, using the umbrella for support. At his full height, he shot Magnus a meaningful look that said ‘you deal with this.’

“Uh,” Magnus said. “My new roomate, uh-” He shot a look to Merle.

“Justin.” Merle broke in, looking a little worried.

Taako snorted, then waved at Agnus. “Hail ‘n well met.”

Angus hesitated, then waved back awkwardly. “Hail and well met to you too, sir. My names Angus.”

“Cool, like they said, I’m Jason-”

“Justin.”

“Jamie?”

“Justin!”

“Yeah, Juice-boy. I’m gonna to, like, go to the bathroom now, peace.”

Angus blinked as Taako’s form retreated. “Who was that?”

“Uh, roomate? Justin?”

“No no,” Angus laughed, like Magnus made a silly joke. “I mean, who was that really? And why was he hiding in your closet.”

“Uh-” Magnus said, sweating bullets. “Lets focus on history, kiddo.”

Angus grinned and flipped to a fresh page. “Lets focus on this mystery first.” 

“Kid,” Magnus sighed, “This isn’t a mystery you should look into. He’s our new roommate, nothing more and nothin’ less.”

Angus hummed. “Can you at least tell me his real name?”

Merle, suddenly behind them, said, “Oh, its Taako.”

They both jumped. “Merle-!” Magnus hissed.

Angus practically had stars in his eyes. “Oh, thats a good goof sirs! I promise I’ll figure this guy out soon, don’t worry.”

“Angus, please don’t look into this.” Magnus said.

Angus was already packing his stuff up. “Why not?”

Neither of them had a very good excuse and simply glanced at each other. Angus grinned broadly. “I got this!”

* * *

 

The next time Taako saw Angus, he was fuming on the coach. Casting a quick disguise self to keep his alien identity under wraps, he wandered over silently.

“What's wrong, pumpkin?” He asked, leaning on the top of the sofa. Angus’ notebook was open to a page, with big, bold letters as the title that said ‘TACO? JUSTIN? JAMIE? MAGNUS + MERLE NEW ROOMMATE?’

Angus slammed it shut, looking embarrassed. “Sorry, sir! I just expected this case to be really easy, but it seems a little harder than I expected. Sorry for being in your house right now, I didn’t think anybody was home at this hour.”

“Well, I’m sorta always here.” Taako said, glancing towards the door. It had been almost four days since he first got here, and he still hadn’t gotten out. “Hey, I’m feelin’ a little stir crazy. Wanna show me around this town?”

Angus blinked up at him. “Am I allowed to?” He asked.

“Well, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t be?” 

“I can’t drive.” He said, glancing down. “I’m only eleven.”

Taako opened his mouth to offer to drive the kid, remembering the battlewagons and carriage, which he could drive pretty well, and then thought about the metal hulls that Merle pointed out to him and called cars. “Me neither. Isn’t there anything you can just walk to around this joint?”

Angus perked up. “Oh? How old are you? Are you dual-enrolled at the college too?”

“236, and nope, don’t know what that is.”

Angus visibly deflated. “Nice goof, sir. I guess I can show you around,” He perked up again, smiling largely. “I can show you to my favorite store! They sell these really cute stationeries, I think you might like it!”

Taako nodded like he was super interested in looking at notebooks, but in reality was ready to explode if he spent another day in the cramped apartment. “Sounds great, bubula.” 

Thank god for Magnus being sweet enough to let him borrow his clothes. Taako wasn't the most fashionable in a baggy shirt that said ‘Ruff Boi,’ but he was at least in something fresh. He pulled on the heels he arrived with and motioned for Angus to grab his shoes.

The two set off after Angus sent a text to Merle and Magnus. Taako read what he wrote over his shoulder, then blinked in confusion at the previous messages.

“Why did he just send a cat?” Taako asked, tapping his finger on the screen. He jumped when the cat image suddenly covered the whole screen.

“It's a meme, sir!” Angus replied, minimizing the picture and finished typing the message.

Taako furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and tapped it again. “What does it mean?”

“It’s a joke?” Angus minimized it to hit send on the text.

Taako hit it again right before it went through. “Why?!”

“You don't know what a meme is?”

Panic. Backtrack. “I- they don’t have ‘memes’ where I’m from, bubula.”

“Uh,” he said with a frown, finally opening the door from the apartment. Taako leaned out and took in the hallway that was full of doors as Angus started towards the elevator. “Where specifically did you say you were from, again?”

“Don’t matter, kiddo. Is this the elevator?”

Angus pressed the down button. “Oh good! You know what an elevator is, I was worried I would have to explain everything to you.”

Taako stares as the doors opened and a old lady shuffled past them. He thought about Upsey. He thought about vines. “You got stairs? ‘Cause no way in hell am I gettin’ in another elevator, no sire.”

Angus stared at him hopelessly. “We live on the twentieth floor, Taako.”

“Yeah, you can take that lil’ evil amalgamation, wait for me when you reach the end, ya’ boy Taako doesn’t want to get trapped in another one of those beasts. Stairs for me, compadre.” He said, then spun heel towards the doors leading to the stairs. Taako ached for his old cape, because that spin would have been way more dramatic if he did.

Angus glanced between the sleek interior of the freshly renovated elevator and the closing doors behind Taako, then let out a long, broken sigh of a broken man. Then he followed the disguised elf and started his long trek down.

“So,” He said after the first floor. “You do have money, right?”

Taako blinked at him. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Question is, do you have any?”

Angus fished out his fancy wallet and pulled out a twenty. “It’s not much but-“

Taako snatched it from him and stuffed it in his pocket.

“Oh. Okay. I guess we’re doin’ this now.”

Taako cast a modified Duplicate spell as fast as he could, plus as steady as he could with his hand crunched around the bill as he bounced down the steps. Angus made a halfhearted motion to try and get him to slow down, but Taako don’t stop for nothin, so he had to scramble to catch up.

After Taako felt like he had enough to get himself some new clothes, at the very least, he pulled the twenty back out and tossed it over his shoulder.

There was a surprised, “Oh!” Followed by the sound of footsteps pausing. “Thank you?”

“Don’t mention it, boychik.” The kid had technically made him super rich, and so what if all the money disappeared in a couple hour or so. He just had to shop fast.

Angus tried to lead him to the stationary store, located just a block away. Right next to it was a Forever 21, complete with a sign that read, ‘GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. EVERYTHING 50% OFF’

There was a very small moral struggle that struck Taako. Do what he wanted, or please the kid and keep playin’ it safe. Obviously, one overpowered the other easily.

“We can check out your nerd notebook store later, first things first, this boy needs some fresh clothes.”

Angus, already pretty resigned to his fate, just sorta grinned and let out a chirpy, “Okay, sir!”

The first half hour was spent with both parting ways and simply thumbing through the racks. Somehow between the first hour and the second they met back up and started shopping with each other. By the fourth hour, Angus was dead tired, but posing in clothes he would never wear while Taako commented from his spot on the chairs in the dressing room.

“Sir, it’s getting very late,” Angus said hesitantly, pulling off the feathered boa he was wearing. The employees glanced at them, some exhausted and hopeful for them to leave, others with small smiles and chuckles. “We should go before it gets to dark.”

“Okay, fine, but you HAVE to get one of the outfits I picked out for you.”

Angus helplessly gestured back to his jeans. “I don’t think I have enough money.”

Taako grinned. “Pass me that twenty, again, boychik.”

Against every single warning signs, Angus went back into the dressing room and pulled his wallet out. Then he paused, neck itching to get out of the turtleneck sweater Taako insisted was ‘totally his style!’ and ‘very nerd-fancy, so you.’ “I’m gonna change real fast, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, no sweat.”

Taako wished for some sweet drink, maybe a coffee to perk him up, but settled for organizing the clothes he already decided on getting. It ended up being just enough to hit the hundred mark, which actually wasn’t too much. He was trying to keep his budget down, but he didn’t really know how money worked here.

If it was like GP, this place was filthy cheap. 

While he was busying himself with placing his unwanted clothes on the rack, the bell chimed as another group of people walked in. The only reason Taako turned to see them is because the employees started to loudly talk to them.

“Sorry, sir, we are closing right now, everyone's leaving.” Said a kind lady with blue hair. She gestured towards the almost empty store. “The sale’s still one tomorrow, if you want to swing by at a earlier time!”

Standing in front of the doors as they slide shut behind them were two men and a women, all dressed head to toe in stylish, pure black suits. None of them replied, but the women made eye contact with Taako. It should have been something simple, a thing to glance away from, but it felt dangerous. They knew something. He froze like a deer in headlights, still draping the scarf over a metal pole. They didn’t look away.

“We aren’t here for the sale.” Said the women, gruffly. They all suddenly were staring at him, looking him over head to toe. Taako couldn’t look away. “Just looking.”

Finally, like a spell had been broken, Taako was able to quickly glance away. He wheezed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The employees started to talk in hushed tones as they gently forced the group out of the store. He felt sweat bead up around his forehead and silently double checked that his ears were a human length. 

“Sir?” Came a soft voice. Taako jumped and whirled around.

Angus stood in front of him, holding out a twenty dollar bill. “Are you okay?” He was wearing his fancy clothes again.

Taako shook his head and glanced towards the glass doors, where he could see just the heel of a black, polished shoe disappear behind the store front. “Just fine, boychik. Don’t worry.”

Angus frowned. “Are you sure?”

Taako paused. “Yeah, it’ll be fine.”

 


End file.
